Inner Barriers to Taking Small Steps — Know Them and Use Them to Your Advantage.
“It is better to take many small steps in the right direction than to make a great leap forward only to stumble backward.” — Louis Sachar
You’ve probably read or heard quite a few times that taking small steps in the right direction is much better than making a great leap to get to your desired destination. In principle it makes sense, however, you might experience a strong inner resistance to go in that direction.
You’re not very sure from where this inner resistance is coming from, so my proposal is that we walk together and explore the barriers to taking small steps. As we do so, you’ll become aware of what they really are, then you’ll reflect on them. In the end, you will be in much better conditions to take a small but decisive action in the right direction.
First inner barrier to take small steps — “All or Nothing” mindset
The “All or Nothing” dichotomy is at the top of the list of inner barriers to take small steps.
You want the final result, and that desire urges you to make a great leap forward. The small step isn’t attractive, the small step is counterintuitive and opens the door to the judgment of your inner critic for taking such a puny action.
Reflection
- What’s your tendency in such cases?
- Are you someone who used to jump into something just because you have experienced a strong urge to do so?
- Have you been pulled into something because you experienced a strong gravitational force towards it?
- How did it go?
Second inner barrier to take small steps — “small steps are for losers”
Small steps are for losers and you don’t want to be identified as one of them. You want to be seen as an A student. You want to be successful and escape from mediocrity, therefore you cannot use the small steps strategy.
Reflection
- How does it resonate with you?
- What’s the kind of inner chatter you experience around “small steps are for losers”?
- What’re the stories running through your mind when you think about a new shiny goal?
Third inner barrier to take small steps — “I am already late”
How on earth am I supposed to take tiny small steps when I’m already late even before I’ve started? I need massive results and I should have started already the day before yesterday. Taking small steps isn’t an option for me. I should go all in, I’ve no other option.
Refection
- How often do you experience these kinds of thoughts?
- What do those thoughts trigger in you? (feelings, sensations, reactions, etc.)
- How do those thoughts and reactions help you to get what you need?
Forth inner barrier to take small steps — “What if this really works…”
There’s a remote possibility that the small steps system will work and, if that’s the case, I might be in trouble, or better said my ego might be in big trouble. How could I justify the many times I failed in the past for not using such a simple strategy? My ego has to spread fear to protect itself from these threats.
Reflection
- How do you face fear?
- How could you face the challenges associated with succeeding?
Fifth inner barrier to take small steps — “What you think others will think or will say about it”
You’re almost decided to use the small steps strategy on one of your goals for this year, but just before you do so, you start thinking about what your significant other will think about this strategy. And not only your significant other but also your friends, family members, coworkers, etc. How are you going to explain to them that you will take small steps to get to your ambitious goal? You’re already hearing their voices and thoughts, their doubts and irony about your approach. What do you think your final decision will be?
Reflection
Listen to the voice in your head and reflect on the following questions:
- What is that voice telling you?
- How is that voice talking to you?
- Is that voice really representing others’ opinions and ideas?
Going through all these inner barriers, seeing them clearly, and identifying how they affect you, will position you in a much better place to take small steps towards your goal and bring it one step closer. One step at a time, one after the other, until getting to the goal becomes inevitable.
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